Why Canceling a Phone Line Has Me in Tears

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Have you ever felt like crying and actually teared up over canceling a phone line?

I’m surprised how emotional I’m feeling over it, but I guess I shouldn’t be. Because I’ve learned that you never know when and how grief will hit.

We had Dad’s cell phone on our family plan. He passed on almost a year ago. We’d thought we’d keep his phone as our home phone, after we’d canceled our land line. But we realize now that we almost never use it and it’s not worth the monthly charge.

So I called today to remove his line. And between customer service interactions I was choking up. About a phone line.

Why would I do that? I guess because it’s another finality. It’s another acknowledgment that I will never talk to my daddy on this earth again. I will never hear the phone ring and know it’s him calling to ask me how I am today. Or to tell me something he needs me to do for him.

It’s another reminder that I will have to wait until I’m in heaven with him to ask him more questions about his childhood. Or to get his advice about anything and everything.

It’s another confirmation of the hard truth that I don’t know how long it will be before I can hold his hand again or feel his arms around me in a hug or hear his laugh or hear him say, “You’re precious.”

I need to remind myself, as these tears fall, that Daddy is safe with our Heavenly Father. And that he’s with his sweetheart again.

And I need to remember that our Abba Father is always there to listen. And He always care and loves us. And He always has the best advice and counsel to give.

And He’s always with me, holding me up, and whispering, “You are precious.”

Daddy and me.
Daddy and Mom enjoying their backyard swing.

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4 comments

  1. My parents had the same phone number for 60 years. Canceling that phone was so very difficult. It meant I could no longer call for help, advice, or to check on them. It was also the first of many cancellations and endings in finishing up their earthly existence. Handing over keys to the house will be THE hardest and final step. I am mourning that loss of tangible ties but i must remind myself that they are not mourning. They are joyous!

    1. Yes, that’s an important thing to remind ourselves. We haven’t had to sell my dad’s house yet. My son has been living there. I can’t imagine that right now. But yes, our parents are not mourning. They are with Jesus. And that is and will be the greatest comfort.

  2. Oh I know so well how something like canceling a phone can tear at the emotions. Its been almost a year since my mom’s passing as well. I am still caring for her cat but he is showing his age. A month ago we thought we were going to lose him but he has recovered. I was surprised how hard that was for me. And ever so thankful to have him a little bit longer.

    1. I’m sorry for your loss, Julia. I can understand why caring for your mom’s cat would be a source of comfort. Hope he lives a long life. God bless!

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