Have you ever felt like crying and actually teared up over canceling a phone line?
I’m surprised how emotional I’m feeling over it, but I guess I shouldn’t be. Because I’ve learned that you never know when and how grief will hit.
We had Dad’s cell phone on our family plan. He passed on almost a year ago. We’d thought we’d keep his phone as our home phone, after we’d canceled our land line. But we realize now that we almost never use it and it’s not worth the monthly charge.
So I called today to remove his line. And between customer service interactions I was choking up. About a phone line.
Why would I do that? I guess because it’s another finality. It’s another acknowledgment that I will never talk to my daddy on this earth again. I will never hear the phone ring and know it’s him calling to ask me how I am today. Or to tell me something he needs me to do for him.
It’s another reminder that I will have to wait until I’m in heaven with him to ask him more questions about his childhood. Or to get his advice about anything and everything.
It’s another confirmation of the hard truth that I don’t know how long it will be before I can hold his hand again or feel his arms around me in a hug or hear his laugh or hear him say, “You’re precious.”
I need to remind myself, as these tears fall, that Daddy is safe with our Heavenly Father. And that he’s with his sweetheart again.
And I need to remember that our Abba Father is always there to listen. And He always care and loves us. And He always has the best advice and counsel to give.
And He’s always with me, holding me up, and whispering, “You are precious.”