Today is Mama’s birthday. Her fourth one in heaven. If only I could talk to her. I might say…
Oh Mama! How are you doing? It must be so wonderful to be healthy and strong again, to have clarity of mind again and to be with Dad now! And, wow! To be in the very presence of Jesus! How indescribable and amazing that must be! How glorious!
Life on earth isn’t so wonderful these days. I miss you and Dad so much, but I’m grateful you don’t have to deal with the hard stuff here now. We have a pandemic going on, that has really changed life. And lots of riots and anger all over the place. It reassures me to know you are happy and safe with Jesus.
I think of you and Dad every day. I’m so grateful for all you did for me when you were healthy. You were both so loving and generous. You took care of us all so well. So diligently and faithfully. It was easy to take your love for granted. I’m sorry I did that sometimes.
I wish I could hug you again. I wish I could sit next to you on the love seat and visit and sing songs while you lean your head on my shoulder, as you did in your last years. And you would flutter tap my arm with your fingers and you would try to scrub off the freckles on my arm with your licked finger.
Dementia changed you, Mom. And it changed our relationship. It was hard, but there was a sweetness to it, too. It was my chance to take care of you a little. It was my turn to nurture you. To protect you. And when you passed on I grieved deeply and harder, because in some sense you felt like my child.
I miss you, Mama. But I’m grateful you’re safe with Jesus. Our world is all messed up now. Reminds me of your necklaces. I found them in your jewelry box when we sold your house this summer. I was looking at them the other day and they were all knotted and tied together.
I usually hate working on that type of thing, but I felt especially motivated. I wanted your special necklaces to be right and beautiful again. I worked on them quite awhile. Even used tweezers to get the little knots out. And finally I fixed them and sighed with relief.
Our world is a tangled mess now. But eventually God will make it all new and right again. He will bring His peace to the disorder.
“Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away. Then times of refreshment will come from the presence of the Lord, and he will again send you Jesus, your appointed Messiah. For he must remain in heaven until the time for the final restoration of all things, as God promised long ago…” Acts 3:19-21 (NLT)
The world is a knotted up mess right now. But someday God will restore everything. And someday I will see you again, my sweet mama!
Meanwhile, I hope you have a happy birthday! I can picture Daddy singing to you and giving you a big hug! I can picture your own Mama and Daddy smiling with you! And Aunt Lillie Mae, and so many other relatives and friends, rejoicing over you!
I know you’re having a blessed day, Mama! So I will count my blessings, until we are together again.