I’m so emotional today. Things are changing more with Mama and I’m not ready to even write about it all quite yet. And somehow I’m feeling held up and totally depleted at the same time–which seems to make no sense. And yet is true.
It reminds me of when I was a little child, and I got hurt when Mom was gone and someone else was watching me. And I would be okay, until Mommy got home– and then I’d cry.
Things with Mom are getting harder. But we’re getting more help and support, too.
I’m feeling weak, but I know God is strong. I looked up this memory from about a year and a half ago, and found comfort…
Yesterday, I was visiting Mom and Dad. Mom saw me sitting on the love seat, and got up off her rocking chair saying, “I want to sit by you.”
I quickly moved things off the seat next to me, as Mama tottered over. Then she sat close to me. She held my hand and leaned her head against my arm and softly patted my arm. And it was so sweet, I didn’t want to move. Ever.
Mama used to want to sit by me often. But now she usually just stays in her own chair. So this time of gentle affection is ever more precious and I soak it in and savor it.
These moments of mama love are gifts from God and renew me. I read this morning, in Jeremiah 31:25 (NKJV), “For I have satiated the weary soul, and I have replenished every sorrowful soul.”
In the midst of the weary sorrow stuff of Alzheimer’s and life, I am grateful for the moments of soul replenishment God sends. He restores my soul. He is faithful and loving and good.
And He will always be my side. He will always hold my hand. I can always lean my head on His strong shoulder. And He will always shelter me with His love. Always.