Wow! This year keeps getting more challenging for our whole country. We haven’t really figured out how to deal with the Coronavirus and now we have plunged into dealing with race injustices as riots break out across our nation. We live in a very stressful world.
I often wondered how Mom dealt with all the stress Alzheimer’s must bring. She went through different stages of what she knew and what she didn’t. But imagine having no comprehension of why someone is helping you take a bath. Imagine not recognizing your own home. How scary would that be to wake up every morning in a strange place?
Eventually she didn’t know any of us, except for little glimmers of clarity. But she knew Dad for the longest time. And even after she forgot his name, he was still a source of security and comfort for her. There was a long stage where she followed him everywhere and became especially anxious if he wasn’t close by.
I remember she would get agitated during her bath, because it was challenging for her and because she couldn’t see Dad during it. One day, as I was helping her, she kept asking where he was, and I kept telling her over and over, that he was just in the other room and we would see him in a little bit.
Then she surprised me and asked, “Does Dad know where he is?”
“Yes, Dad knows where he is.”
“Oh good,” Mom said with some relief, ” I don’t want to get lost.”
I love that she could take comfort in just knowing that Dad knew where he was. And I think now how there are lessons here for me.
It’s easy to wonder, in this time of scary pandemics and social upheavals, where God is. I can’t see Him. I wonder why He isn’t doing more to fix everything.
But the truth is, He is with us. He’s not lost. He knows what is going on and He knows what He’s doing about it.
I can weep over the pain I see everywhere. And I can pray and trust Him. I can know He knows. And I can pray that I will be sensitive to His Spirit and obedient to whatever actions He calls me to concerning it all.
And I can remember that we are not lost, because our Abba Father is not lost. He is with us. He is near.
“The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth.” Psalm 145:18 (NKJV)