They say you don’t appreciate what you have until you lose it. And there is so much truth in that. It was easy to take Mom’s love for granted when she was healthy and “herself”.
But knowing Mama had Alzheimer’s, and experiencing the wavering fluctuations of her clarity over the years, made me absolutely treasure the moments when Mom seemed to know me again and any sign of her motherly love became priceless to me.
Mama has been with Jesus for over three years now. I miss her every day. But what a comfort to know we will be together again for eternity, because of faith in the saving grace of Jesus.
Even when Mom didn’t remember me anymore, she could still quote John 3:16 perfectly if I got her started. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (KJV)
And what a blessing it is to have sweet memories. This is still one of my favorites. Oh how I’d love to snuggle close to Mama once more....
February 6, 2013
Moments to remember today….
Mom was in bed napping when I came over. When she opened her eyes and saw me she said, “Oh, you can lay down with me. Come on.”
So I snuggled next to my mama, recalling the instant feeling of security and love that spot gave me as a child, when I couldn’t sleep or had woken up from a bad dream. I asked her who I was, and she quickly said, “You’re Cheryl.” And I felt warm and safe like that child of years ago.
Later in the day I said, “Mom, do you love me?”
She answered instantly, with enthusiasm, “Sure, I do!”
So I held my breath and braved the question, “Do you know who I am?”
“You’re Cheryl! Aren’t you?” She knew my name and was sure she loved me—such a gift!
Later in the day, she was again asking my name. But I had my brief, shining “Camelot” spots….and they will not be forgot.
Yes! The “Camelot” moments, when they appear, can carry you through long tough days. My mom has always been able to come up with my name but sometimes I can tell she has a better understanding and sense of clarity about who I am than others. If she’s having a good day, it is hard for her to let me leave. If she is having a tough day, she doesn’t seem to mind near as much when I tell her I have to go home. I guess, even that is something to be thankful for. If you cannot remember someone,you don’t miss them when they aren’t there. Life with dementia is such a collage of very bright and very dark moments. The bright moments are precious gifts from God and give me strength to keep loving and to keep caring for my mama.
Well said, Ivy! Thank you!