I wrote this a couple years ago, but am finding it’s helpful to meditate on again. Mama and Daddy are with Jesus now. But my 96 year old mother-in-law still lives with us and her dementia has progressed so she needs our presence 24/7. It’s challenging these days to leave the house with my husband even once a week. We have to arrange for her care.
Though Mom is still mobile and we can bring her to church, she can’t appreciate it anymore and just wants to go home. Even having too many people in our house at one time stresses her out. Between Mom’s needs, and the grieving I’m still doing over my own parents, life can feel heavy.
So it helps to remember that God is pleased when we honor and care for our parents, grandparents, and family. This is our calling. And I know that I don’t regret any time I spent helping Mama and Daddy when they were still with us.
I only regret the things I didn’t do for them…
Sometimes life is heavy. And though I cherish time with my Mama, I wonder if I’m really doing what God has called me to do.
I was reading today in Acts 13:2 and God clearly called out Barnabas and Saul and told the church to separate them to Him and send them off on mission work.
And sometimes I envy that a bit. Because my mission doesn’t feel very adventurous and I’m just trying to figure out what ways to serve in my church and how to find time to bring a meal to a new mom as I juggle helping care for my mother with Alzheimer’s and my mother-in-law with dementia.
And it’s not very glamorous. Or exciting. And often it is just plain hard work.
I was praying about it the other day and I randomly opened my Bible and it “happened” to open to I Timothy 5. And I read, “But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable to God.”
And then in verse eight, of the same chapter, I read, “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
Wow! These are strong words! From God’s Word.
God IS calling me to care for my mother and mother-in-law. This is a responsibility He has given me, and really all believers.
It may look different for everyone. Some people live far from family. But that doesn’t excuse Christ-followers from making provision for parents and grandparents who need help.
It is our God-given job. And everyone can do their part, even if those parts look quite different from one another.
And it makes me wonder.
I wonder how loved and cherished aging parents would feel if each of their children and grandchildren did everything they could to meet the needs of their elders.
I wonder how many phone calls and meals would be shared. I wonder how many spirits would be lifted with cards, flowers, letters and gifts. I wonder how many songs would be sung together and ring cheer into hearts.
I wonder how clean houses would be and how lovely yards and gardens would be. I wonder how many errands would be cheerfully run and how many repairs would be promptly finished.
I wonder how many stories of the old days would be shared. And how many home-cooked goodies would be relished. I wonder how many puzzles and games would be enjoyed together and how much laughter would fill the rooms.
I wonder how many prayers would be lifted up together to our Lord. And how many wrinkled hands would be held tenderly by younger hands.
I wonder how excellent personal cares would be, and how comfortable and well fed every bed or wheel-chair-bound person would be.
I wonder how many loving hugs would bring tears. And how many conversations would build up faith and courage.
I wonder how many blessings would be poured down from Heaven.
If everyone did their part.
Because God is watching. And He sees the sacrificial love given by some.
And He sees the neglect and loneliness and unmet needs that wouldn’t have to be there. If everyone did their part.
Sometimes I struggle with my own attitudes and feel like it’s all too much. But this is the mission in my life right now. And I know I don’t do all I could do. And I pray that the Holy Spirit will direct me and help me so that I’ll make better use of my time for His purposes, in this season of precious ministry.
Because life isn’t all about personal pleasure or comfort, though God often blesses us with both. Life is about loving God and others. And that is where the real joy and fulfillment is anyway.
It reminds me of a quote from Mother Theresa…
“Stay where you are. Find your own Calcutta. Find the sick, the suffering and the lonely right where you are—in your own homes and in your own families, in your workplaces and in your schools…You can find Calcutta all over the world if you have eyes to see…”
Sometimes life is heavy. But I know I’m where I’m supposed to be. And I’m thankful for the grace and strength and blessings He gives for this mission.
Would you mind if I copied and pasted this blog to my social media? I just think I have some family members that this might touch.
I’m fine with you doing that Talitha, if you would please reference God’s Grace and Mom’s Alzheimer’s so people can connect to other posts too. I also have a Facebook page under the same God’s Grace and Mom’s Alzheimer’s title. It might be easier to share directly from that. But it depends on what social media you’re referring to. Thanks for checking in first and I hope the post is a meaningful blessing to your family!
Such a good reminder! He is faithful and always provides for his children ❤️
Wow! I’m right in the middle of trying to get mom to leave her home to come live with us, however she is resistant.
I totally agree that my mission is here and now. It’s hard work. But God has promised to give us light for every step.
That’s a challenge, when our loved ones aren’t ready to receive the help they need. I dealt with some of that, though not exactly your situation. Hang in there. It is hard work, but God is surely with you in it!
Thanks for the reminder that this is my mission and God sees me. I am the only family member caring for both my parents. It is hard to say the least. I feel like life is just passing me by as I spend so many countless hours at doctor’s appointments and doing the same things over and over for mom and dad. After three years, I am seeing how God is using this tough situation to change me and mold me into who HE wants me to be. God is truly using you in this ministry to so many who care for the elderly.
I remember the years of doctor’s appointments and repeated things! We eventually hired some help and found a doctor group that would make house visits for mom. That was a huge blessing because it became so hard to get Mom out of the house and so stressful for her. I continued to be very involved, especially as the only daughter, but it helped to not be doing everything. I hope you can get any help you might need, too, Ivy. It’s still challenging, but it helps to have support if possible. No matter what, God gives grace as we depend on Him one day at a time!
May God bless you Ivy as you carry out this amazing task he has given you! He is faithful and will provide you with what you need ❤️