I cuddle up next to Mama in her bed. I quote some Bible passages. I sing What a Friend We Have in Jesus. I pray with her. I talk to her about her childhood and life history. And all the time Mama stares at the wall and is unresponsive.
I touch her face and tell her that I love her so much and that she’s been a wonderful mom to me. She doesn’t blink or move. She’s lying on her back, her arms at her side, so immobile. So still.
I notice again that her cheekbones seem more prominent…her cheeks more hollow. She looks older. And she’s so quiet. I long for a word from her. A look. Something.
It’s been especially stressful lately, with my 94 year old mother-in-law in the hospital for a few days and then coming back to our home with ongoing health concerns and some depression.
I know Mama can’t comprehend what I’m saying, but I crave her comfort. I scoot down in the bed and lean my head against the side of her shoulder. I put my arm around her waist and snuggle close to her warmth. I share a few things of the past weeks and tears start to silently flow.
And then I see Mama slowly, as if with effort, raise her arm and place it over mine. And I feel her warm hand pat-patting my arm. Gentle flutter taps and strokes.
And the tears flow again through a smile. Because I feel Mama’s love. And God’s grace.
And Mama keeps softly pat-patting.
Touches of tender mercies from Mama and Jesus.
“As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you…” Isaiah 66:13 (NKJV)
This brought tears to my eyes for you, and also for my mother who is slowly fading. Thank you for your beautiful writing. May God surround you with comfort, as your mother would if she could.
Thank you so much, Ginger. May God surround you with His comfort as well. Sending hugs–Cheryl
My Mom had a heart attack a year and a half ago. Since then she has been in a nursing home. She cannot stand or walk and the dementia she had before is a bit worse. She is also almost deaf yet refuses to wear hearing aides. This blog post really hit home with me because I, like you, have sometimes longed for my Mom’s comforting words. She has always been my biggest champion and has always been happy to listen to me, whether the news was good or bad. Now she can’t hear me and even when she does, she doesn’t comprehend. I miss having her to talk with. I am thankful I do have a relationship with Jesus. If I didn’t I can’t imagine how much more difficult this would be! May God bless you in your relationship with your Mom. Thank you for sharing.
I’m so sorry, Mary Lou. There is something special about a mother’s love that our hearts long for. And I totally agree– I don’t know how people do life without Jesus! Thank you for sharing your story, too. May God continue to give you His strength and grace. ~Cheryl