It’s been a tough week. On Saturday we thought maybe God was taking Mama home to Him. She wouldn’t wake up no matter what we did. She was unresponsive. She was so cold. Her breathing was erratic, with long, scary gaps. I was sending messages to people asking for prayer. I was comforting my crying daughter and trying to stay calm myself.
But after many hours she did wake up! And she ate a very late supper. And we all exhaled a big breath and smiled. We hadn’t lost her. Not yet. We could savor some more cuddles. We could still hold her hand and feel her squeeze back in response once again.
The next day, Sunday morning, Mama told my daughter, “God is here.”
Annie answered, “Yes, He’s here.”
Mama said, “He is bigger.”
And we continue to take comfort in those precious words. Because even though Mama rarely seems to know who we are anymore, if at all, she knows that God is here. God is with her. God is with us. And He is bigger. Bigger than Alzheimer’s. Bigger than our pain and sorrow. Bigger than our stress and worries and fears.
God is bigger.
I’m so thankful Mama knows this. I’m so thankful God continues to teach us through the few words Mama says these days.
Other concerns and stresses weigh down on us too. Our prayer list is long. This is a challenging season of life as we oversee the care of three elderly parents, one who lives with us. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and cry and call out for help and prayer.
And I feel the comfort of God in kind words and offers from friends. In family members who step in and help. In devotional passages and Bible verses I read. Like one I read today…
“If I say, ‘My foot slips,’ Your mercy, O Lord, will hold me up. In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul.” Psalm 94:18-19 (NKJV)
Yesterday I cuddled Mama before supper, “Mama, it’s me…Cheryl.” She repeated my name so clearly! I rarely hear her say my name and often it sounds slurred. But yesterday she said it clearly twice! “You said my name, Mama! Thank you!”
She answered, “Yes, Ma’am.” Which made me smile even more and gave a nod to her Southern upbringing. I’m grateful for this gift of hearing Mama say my name again. And especially for the pricelessness of hearing her speak of God’s presence.
God is here. He is bigger.
GOD is here. God IS here. God is HERE!
And He is bigger!
God is here. I love how you wrote that. My Mother continues day by day, but for the past few weeks she speaks of wanting to go to heaven and how I shouldn’t be sad for her. She longs to go and leave behind the wheelchair and have strong legs and a healed mind and be in His presence. As hard as these times are, they are also so sweet, aren’t they?
Yes, when we know they know Jesus, there is a sweetness in the hard time. Because we know the end of the story and how beautiful it will be! May God continue to comfort you and your mother, Maxie. Thanks for commenting. ~Cheryl
My grandmother passed from Alzheimer’s and my mother-in-law has it. This is a b****** of a disease but I think God is present in the heart and mind of those who have it. I think glimpses of heaven are seen and family and friends of old are waiting to welcome. Grace and peace to you my friend.
I also know my mom felt God’s presence during her last days on earth. I lost her two and a half months ago to Alz and it was truly agonizing. Your words are the same in my heart and mind but I cannot speak them as eloquently as you but I feel them. You helped me through that awful time. I miss my mom every single day and look at her pictures on my phone while I work. I also have a picture of my hand in hers during those last days. Mothers are the gift that The Lord gives us. My mom was a blessing to my life. I will miss her forever. God bless you and thank you.
I”m so sorry for your loss, Bianca. My mama just passed on this past Monday. It was a very hard last week or so. But I know she’s at peace now. I’m so grateful to hear that our story helped your through that time. That is such a comfort to me. Mothers are such a precious gift! I’m thankful we wills see ours again. May God continue to comfort and strengthen you.
~Cheryl