Where Does My Help Come From?

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On Saturday I held my newly born granddaughter for the first time and I slipped my hand under her blanket and felt the soft smoothness of her shoulder and back and tiny feet and I soaked in her sweet beauty as she slept in my arms.

And today I cuddled Mama in her bed. She was so weak this morning, we didn’t dare get her up. We propped her up for a sponge bath and a change of clothes and some food. And later I eased her back down to one pillow for a nap.

I combed my fingers through Mama’s hair and patted her back. I said, “I love you, Mama.”

She answered, “I did, too.”

“You loved me, too?”

“Sure!” she answered. And my heart smiled.

I lay close to Mama, with my back to her, like Daddy sleeps. And Mama put her arm around me and flutter tapped my tummy. And I reveled in the cozy warmth.

As I laid there my thoughts drifted to yesterday, when I got a call from Mama’s care giving agency. I was told one of our favorite care givers, “Patti”, is leaving us, because she just thinks she can’t do enough for mom. She says she loves mom and us.

The manager who called said Patti  even cried about resigning  from us. I wonder if it’s too hard for her to see Mama declining. And I wondered if the manager could tell that I was crying over the phone, hearing about the resignation.

Because it’s difficult to find care givers that are excellent. And when you are blessed with one it hurts so much to lose them. Especially when you need them more than ever.

I prayed when I heard the news. “Lord, what are we going to do? How are we going to get enough help?”

And I immediately heard in my heart, “Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.” Psalm 121: 1b-2

And I smiled. And I nodded. Yes, Lord. My help comes from You. You–the Creator of heaven and earth. The Creator of everything! You are certainly able to help with our problems. With anything. I will trust You my Abba Father. And I will know that you will give grace and strength and provision as we need it.

I turned over in bed and faced Mama. And I stroked her face and her arm and marveled how the softness reminded me of our grand-baby’s skin. And I snuggled close to Mama and her peaceful beauty as she slept.






    1. Thank you for your scripture. My Mom died on April 2nd. Mother and I shared a room during her illness. She in a hospital bed and my bed as close as I get to her. We held hands and once she was asleep I kept my hand on her chest. Some folks didn’t understand this but I loved being as close as I could to her even when though she was asleep. I think night time is the worse time for me now. But I know in my heart that she is holding me at all times. My strength is knowing that she knew me and how much I love her. I love the scripture you shared and I God will give me help to face each day and I know I will see my Mother again.

      1. Thank you for sharing your story, diamond455. I totally understand wanting to be close your mom as she slept. I’m so sorry for your loss. I pray God will give you grace and strength.

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