In the midst of Mama’s angry dementia, God sent me a sign of His tender mercies…
Mom shouts so much these days. And she frequently shouts, “I hate you! I hate you, Mama!”
I don’t believe she hates anyone, and certainly not her mama. It’s just the name that flows out without thought. Probably the first word she ever said. The name she hollers out in her distress.
The other day I was changing Mom and cleaning her up and she was shouting in a loud, rough voice, “I hate you! I hate you, Mama!”
And then suddenly she turned and looked at me. And in a soft, reassuring tone she said, “I don’t hate you.”
She sounded normal, like her old self. Like somehow in the midst of her dementia she had a moment of clarity, and wanted to make sure I knew she wasn’t yelling hate at me.
I think it was a grace gift from God.
It warmed my heart and I smiled and said, “Thank you for telling me that, Mama.”
And it brought back sweet thoughts of the caring person Mama is. And it reminded me to look for the grace gifts.
Alzheimer’s is hard. It continues to get more difficult. But… “Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23, NKJV)
Alzheimer’s will not consume us. Because God will not fail us. His mercies surround and protect and comfort His children. His compassions are new every morning. I will look for His grace gifts each day. i will pray for eyes to see Him at work and for a grateful heart.
And I will sing of His faithfulness. Forever.