I’m visiting Mama and I say to her, “I love you.”
And she looks at me with a serious expression and asks, “How can I tell it?”
“Because I’m here, Mama. I’m here visiting you.” Mama still looks at me, questioning. Unresolved.
How do I help someone who has so little clarity know how loved she is? Can she still understand love? And I think, maybe mentally she can’t.
But maybe the spirit of a person can feel and know things that the mind can’t comprehend.
Babies die in orphanages, when their physical needs are met, just because they aren’t held enough. There is a lack of love and affection, and their spirits know it and often they fail to thrive and die.
And I’m guessing that the spirits of those with dementia can also know if they are loved and wanted. And I want to learn to communicate on a soul level with Mama. So that even if she loses all language abilities she will still be comforted by the presence of love.
But how? And I think about this and I wonder if it’s a lot like showing love to a baby that has no language. Maybe it means lavishing as much physical affection as Mama seems willing to accept. Maybe it’s sharing food with her and singing to her. Maybe it’s praying over her and reading to her. And talking to her and showing her things that might be interesting to her.
I’m sure it’s being aware of her needs… Comforting her when she’s fearful. Gently cleaning her when she’s messy. Wrapping her in a soft blanket when she’s cold. Staying close and watchful always. It means trying to cure anything that hurts her. And taking delight in anything that gives her joy.
Because souls can understand things, even when brains fail and words fall short. And I pray that God will show me how to express love to Mama’s spirit so that she will always know how treasured she is. And how very much I love her.
Beautiful post and so true!
Thank you, Eldon! God bless you!
Cheryl, your soul is so huge and beautiful it’s busting at the seams! I love who you are, and the love you show your mama. It’s God in His shining glory…and we all get to share it with you! ❤
Kim, what beautiful encouragement you give me! Thank you so much! Brings me to tears. God bless!
Precisely Cheryl, you need not worry. You nailed it. Been there and blessed. xx
P.S. — I was also adopted after 14 mos w/no family when my match made in Heaven mother chose me, so your lead-in words were also meaningful and, yes, it was the deeply bonded relationship through the decades and my intimate knowledge of her that naturally led me. The last year of her life she forgot my name but “knew” that I was “the one.” We were a team and she visibly relaxed in my presence daily — simply on entering the room after 5 minutes away. Nightly, we held hands for hours, gazing into each others eyes, hers anxious and searching at first then, held in the gaze, relaxing and falling asleep only to wake later and, finding my hand in hers, the other offering her water through a straw, fall back into sleep. Among the most blessed events of my life — all made possible by her.
Thank you, Gracie’s girl! I love the way you loved your mother! Thank you for sharing your story.
P.S. My husband and I adopted four of our six children. They were a sibling group and were 4, 7, 8 and 12 years old at the time. I know about those precious bonded relationships. : ) God bless you!