Learning lessons in the ‘durned’ if I know what she’s going to do adventure of it all…
Mom was quite pleasant and charming today, in between the times she was yelling and shouting. She smiled and laughed and used interesting phrases. I tried to mirror back to her what she was saying, even though it was often nonsensical.
I would repeat her phrase or thought as a question. And she would nod yes and seem to feel understood.
She said things like “How long has it been since?”
And she said, “Maybe they’re doing what they’re doing.” (She could be right. They probably are.)
When she asked me, “Are you crazy?”
I answered, “I try not to be.”
I started singing “Amazing Grace” to her. When I sang the verse, “When we’ve been there ten thousand years…” Mom interrupted and said, “Wow! That many?”
She wandered into the bathroom at one point and I heard her loudly ask, “What’s she gonna do?” And then she answered herself just as loudly, ” ‘Durned’ if I know.”
I feel that way about her often. ‘Durned’ if I know what she’s gonna do next. It’s all an adventure, in a way.
Life is an adventure, too. It’s uncertain. And we really don’t know what’s going to happen next.
And just like Mom’s yelling and shouting are difficult and challenging, so is much of life. And often life doesn’t make sense and doesn’t seem fair. And you might wonder if you’re crazy. Or if someone with you is.
And maybe we can learn something from Mom’s question, “How long has it been since?” Maybe we need to ask ourselves that. How long has it been since….I had a good cry? I had a good laugh?
How long has it been since I took a walk with a friend? Or, sat and watched waves? How long has it been since I poured out my soul to my Heavenly Father? How long has it been since I sang songs of worship to Him until I wept with joy?
How long has it been since? It’s a good question to ask with a heart listening to the Spirit’s promptings.
And when I’m tempted to compare my life to others’ lives that seem better and brighter, I need to remember Mom’s phrase, “Maybe they’re doing what they’re doing.” And realize that maybe they are doing what they’re doing because that is God’s plan for their life.
And I’m doing what I’m doing because this is where God has me right now. And then I can let it go and trust God to take care of His own servants in His own way and in His own timing.
I hope I will remember to notice the sweet and charming moments of this life adventure…because there are many interspersed with the challenging stuff. And I want to keep a thankful heart.
And I hope we will all remember that the best is yet to come. All who believe in Jesus and trust Him with their lives can know that when we’ve been with Him for ten thousand years, we’ve only just begun.
And like Mom said, “Wow! That many?” Yes! And more than we can comprehend!
I empathize with what you are going through. It seems that even when things get tough and you have trouble seeing the bright spots, you are reminding yourself to! And that is SO admirable and inspirational to those of us who are going through similar things.
Thank you for your encouraging words! I struggle, but God gives me perspective and I’m so thankful for the strength He gives!