Looking for God’s purpose and comfort in aging and trials

I often wish that I could “get it all together” before I die. I read somewhere that no one does. Is that true? Because it seems like some people do…

I remember years ago talking with the mother of a friend of mine. She was such a gentle soul, sweet and full of love and faith. She witnessed for Jesus everywhere she went, even as she was dying with cancer. I remember saying to her, “I want to be like you when I grow up.”

She raised her eyebrows a bit and shaking her head said something like, “People say that. I don’t know why. I know my own faults– my own heart. But thank you.”

This past weekend my husband and I were discussing why God keeps giving us challenges. Jeff said, and I’m paraphrasing here, “I know God is teaching us through our struggles, but what is the point of it when we get to our age? Do we have time to apply it in life? Is it just so we will know something more in heaven?”

I wonder about this. I see so many people I care about dealing with heavy issues. My prayer list is long and serious. Most of my friends are missing both of their parents now. We have become a generation of orphans. And, at the same time, we are seeing more of our own peers pass on, and more of our friends are becoming widows and widowers as they grieve spouses who have gone Home before them. And even more of us are struggling with our own health issues and mortality.

I remember being with my mother-in-law at her brother-in-law’s funeral. She wasn’t feeling well herself that day, and at the funeral reception she put her head down on the table and mumbled, “I’m next.”

I can understand that feeling more now. I know a few friends around my age who have been diagnosed with dementia. And too many (including myself) who are dealing with cancer and degenerative health problems and mobility issues. And then there are always concerns for our children and grands and finances and relationships and the world. As my mother-in-law often said, “Growing old isn’t for sissies.” No lie!

So back to the question–why? We know God uses problems to purify us, to grow us, to mature us. We are told to, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know the testing of your faith produces steadfastness, and let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4 (ESV)

God is sovereign and He has reasons we may never understand. But I believe one reason for pain and challenges in this life, beyond our own spiritual growth, may also be because hard things have the potential to give us a stronger testimony.

I often listen to pastors on YouTube and I wish I had written what I heard last week. I’m pretty sure it was Charles Stanley, who said something like …the most powerful witness we can give is when people see the joy and peace of Jesus in our lives during our trials.

I don’t think we are supposed to fake being all joyful and peaceful when we aren’t. I believe we can be authentic and real about our struggles and pain. But we can also be authentic and real about the comfort God gives us.

I’m an emotional person, a champion worrier, and truly excellent at feeling sorry for myself. But I can also honestly say that I have absolutely found great comfort and peace in my relationship with my Abba Father. And the greatest comforts are often found in the most painful times.

I can pour out my concerns to Him in prayer, and know that He hears me. He sometimes shows me verses that somehow seem “snuck” into the Bible just for me and my current issue. Even though I’ve read the verse many times, and probably even have it underlined, God can point me to a passage that, in that moment, hugs me like a loving daddy comforting his hurting child.

Or sometimes He gifts me with a song on the radio, or a song title I feel inspired to look up and listen to. And as I listen, often I can’t sing with it because I’m crying, as I raise my hands to God in grateful awe. Grateful that He is who He is. And grateful that He knows me and understands.

He blesses us with music that reminds us that all of our temptations and trials are common to man. Others have struggled with similar emotions. And the songs share the comfort received from God, and the music is a tender soul balm.

Sometimes the Lord gives me a “theme song” that I return to over and over during the duration of a particular trial. And sometimes I am drawn to a playlist of classic hymns and spiritual songs that never fail to turn my eyes to Jesus and the hope and grace He gives.

God also sends comfort and strength through the love of His people. A text that reminds you someone cares. A card or unexpected gift that warms the heart. A phone call just when needed.

I remember one of my sweetest comforts was during the graveside service for my dad. My little nine month old niece was sitting next to me. I was feeling all the emotions and my eyes were full of tears, and little Emma (who barely knew me) reached over and put her tiny hand on my arm and kept smiling at me. It totally felt like a love message from Jesus!

And we can do that for each other. Most of us are struggling with something. We often don’t know why or what God is doing. But maybe we can be open with each other. Maybe we share the hurts and tears when God leads us to. And then we can also share the grace God is giving.

I will probably never “get it all together” before I die. But maybe as we age, and the struggles of life get heavier, we will also have more stories to tell of His goodness and mercy. Maybe our gray hair really can become crowns of glory. Maybe, by faith, we can be like Jacob and lean on our staffs as we bless our grandchildren and worship the Lord.

Maybe, like little Emma, we can put our hand on someone’s arm, and smile, and remind them that Jesus is near.

“Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come.” Psalm 71:18 (NIV)

Dad and baby Emma…love.