Posted by There will be a sweet by and by.
But meanwhile the bath and visit were pretty normal today. Mom hollered and yelled. I sprayed down a bunch of fruit flies off the mirror. I picked up food and Kleenexes scattered around Mom’s chair and sat and visited with her a bit. She said she wanted to see her Grandma.
“Which Grandma do you want to see?” I asked.
“I don’t even know how many Grandmas I have,” she answered.
“Do you know who I am?”
She looked at me blankly and said, “No.” I told her who I was.
I held up her baby doll. “Do you know who this is?”
“No…”she said. But then soon remembered and said, “Annabel. She’s Annabel.”
I drove to pick up some Culver’s for Mom and Dad. And I wondered, as I drove, why Mom remembered her doll’s name better than mine. And I wondered why life was so messy and if I was ever going to get rid of the fruit flies and I thought about how Mom continues to get more challenging and that there are things I don’t even want to write about.
And then I walked in Mom’s door with their supper. Mom was sitting next to Dad on the love seat, all clean and cozy in her red flannel nightgown. She had her feet up on the ottoman and a soft blanket over her legs. And Annabel was half in Mom’s lap and half in Dad’s lap.
Lawrence Welk was on the TV and a group was singing with harmony, “In the sweet by and by… …We shall meet on that beautiful shore… … And our spirits shall sorrow no more, not a sigh for the blessing of rest…”
Mom looked over at me blankly again and told Dad, “Someone’s here.” I brought them their food and Dad thanked me as they sat side by side, in the bright light of the room and the glow of Dad’s favorite show.
And as I went out the door I heard more of the song. ( I can’t remember exactly, so I’m looking up the words now…) ”There’s a land that is fairer than day, and by faith we can see it afar, for the Father waits over the way, to prepare us a dwelling place there…. In the sweet by and by….we shall meet on that beautiful shore; in the sweet by and by we shall meet on that beautiful shore…”
I stepped back into the cold night, but I smiled to myself and sighed with peace, comforted by the truth of our sweet by and by…
****************************
This was written in 2013. Now both my parents are with Jesus, and the promise of being together again someday is even more precious.
God's Grace and Life's Challenges 
My mother had Alzheimer’s & Dementia… same time as your mother… it was comforting .to read your blog… especially.. what you would say to your children…. there are 5 of us … who took 24 hr shifts to care for her… iIt was as honor & blessing to take care of her… Mom passed in 2016…. Today … we all still chuckle and smile at the times spent with her… Thank you
I love to hear you all took turns caring for your mother! What a beautiful way to honor her! It is a blessing to remember the chuckles and smiles, too. I’m glad you had them! And I’m so grateful to hear my blog gave you comfort as we journeyed through it all at the same time. Thank you for encouraging me now! God bless — Cheryl
Cheryl, I love the fact that you wrote down so many of your experiences and memories as you made them in the later days of caring for your dear parents. You had so many of the same questions , experiences, and fears that I did while caring for mine. I was in in such emotional upheaval as I cared for my parents that I tried to block out rather than write down what was happening at the time. You seemed to accept the reversal of roles so willingly. I struggled so. I wish I would have had the spiritual insight at the time that you so graciously did. I do know I absolutely clung to God and HIs word during those trying days. I am not the same person as I was before. God gave me strength and grace that I know, without a doubt, came only from Him. Those sleepless nights I spent in God’s word and in prayer before Him drew me so much closer to my Lord and Saviour. My parents, too, are at home with the Lord almost 2 years now. Dad passed just before Christmas and mom just 3 weeks later right after the new year.
I miss them tremendously and especially here at Christmas. However, I know we will be together ” in the sweet by and by.” Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You’ve been such a blessing to me.
Oh thank you, Ivy! It was really my therapy to journal my feelings and experiences at the time. But I also spent much time with the Lord and He is the one who gave the grace and comfort and strength! I’m glad to hear you had His comfort as well!
I’m grateful to hear my thoughts have blessed you! You’ve been a blessing to me over the years, too! ~Cheryl