Life is challenging most of the time. It seems especially challenging lately. We are dealing with health concerns and employment searches. I’m still pretty emotional as I grieve the loss of my parents. And we are still caring for my 96 year old mother-in-law who has Alzheimer’s and lives with us.
Sometimes it comforts me to read the stories I wrote down about Mom when she was still with us, and to recall the lessons that God was teaching me then. Lessons I need to remember again. About the one thing I should never forget…
When you enter a home where someone with Alzheimer’s lives, you never know what you’ll get….
I unlocked the door and let myself into Mom and Dad’s and then searched the house for Dad’s book cartridge from the Library for the Blind, that Dad said was missing.
Poor Dad has put locks on bedroom doors and drawers these days, because Mom wants to get into everything and then moves things or throws them away. This would be tough enough for a seeing person to deal with, but Dad has almost no vision left.
After I gave up searching I sat down in the living room and visited with Mom, giving Dad a chance to get some of his own things done. Mom chatted away, holding her baby doll, Annabel, up in the air by her knees, the dolls face upside down near Mom’s. “What do you do when you do?” I heard Mom ask Annabel.
Later on Mom came and sat by me in the love seat. I asked her who her daddy was and she knew his full name with no hesitation. She knew her mama’s name, too and her hometown, which she usually doesn’t.
I said, “Who are your brothers?”
“There’s too many of ‘em,” Mom said, giving up before she started.
“Delbert….” I said to start her.
“Yes….” Mom acknowledged. “They’re crazy. All of ‘em.”
But Mom did remember my middle name was Lynn, when I told her I was Cheryl. I always find that unreasonably reassuring. And she kept licking her finger and then trying to clean freckles off my arm with it. She patted my arm and laughed with me.
At one point Mom suddenly said, out of the blue, “Those bums!”
“What bums?” I asked.
“In D——-(the name of her home town) , Louisiana!” She’s never said anything like that before. Who knows where it came from.
Bath time was the normal adventure/trauma. But afterwards when I told Mom I loved her, she answered, “I love you, too.” And then she said a little later, “I want Raymon. He likes me.”
In all the confusion and messiness and craziness of Alzheimer’s Mom always remembers that she wants to be near Dad, her Raymon. And she knows that he likes her. What a sweet comfort.
And in all the confusion and messiness and craziness of life the one thing I want to always remember is that there is no better place to be than close to my Abba Father. And there’s no better comfort than knowing He loves me.
I love your posts – my mom has Alzheimer’s and my dad took care of her at home until his eyesight and health began to fail. We moved mom into a memory care facility which broke our hearts but I couldn’t manage her care with dads visits to MD Anderson. Dad passed last July and I am still devastated by the lost even though I know he is happy healthy and resting in Jesus. I cared for him at home but still play the “if only and what if” guilt game” because I miss him. Mom is so far away in her mind but she still tells me she loves me and is usually happy to see me. So your stories really touch my heart and are a blessing to me.
I’m sorry to hear about your dad, Beth. My dad passed last April and I miss him so much. I struggle with guilt too, thinking of more that I could have done. But our dad’s are at peace now and I’m sure they want us to have peace also.
What a blessing that your mom still says she loves you and is happy to see you!
And I’m so thankful my stories bless you! Your comment has blessed me as well! Enjoy your time with your mom. And may God continue to give you grace for the journey. 💕
Precious Post! Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, Joyce!