“Why?” Dad says. “It’s all I have to do. And it’s a labor of love. I just love her so much.” I choke back more tender tears.And then a few days ago, I am sitting on the love seat with Mom chatting and singing with her. She is cuddling up next to me and patting my arm and trying to rub the freckles and spots off of it. And I’m singing one of “our” songs. “Oh we ain’t got a barrel of……”
And I pause and wait to see if Mom will say “money” or “nothin’”.
“Maybe we’re ragged and…..”
Mama plugs in, “Funny.”And we continue through the song this way, Mama adding the last word of each stanza. Until I get to the verse, “Through all kinds of weather, what if the rain should fall, just as long as we’re together, it doesn’t matter…” And I’m suddenly crying. Because it hits me hard that we won’t always be together.Someday I’ll be sitting here alone. And Mama won’t be singing with me. And she won’t be hollering and shouting and being difficult and making big messes. And she won’t be smiling and laughing and patting my arm. And who else will ever try to rub the freckles off my arm with their finger?
We won’t always be together. We won’t always be side by side. And I’m crying tears and Mama looks at me and doesn’t know what to do. So she starts chuckling. And I wipe my tears away and hug her and chuckle too.
And I think now of all the tears I’ve shed on this Alzheimer’s journey. And I think how very, very precious the truth of heaven and eternity and restoration have become.
And so for today I’ll ignore the shadows. And instead I’ll walk in the sunshine with my Jesus, holding His hand and trusting Him for grace for the future. And I’ll cuddle my mama and say with her, “You have me and I have you.”
And I”ll listen and know that Jesus is whispering, “You have Me and I have you.” And I’m so grateful.